"Face It All" - Fred Hammond

From my heart here is what I need to sayFrom now on and until my dying dayMy love is here to stay, my heart has found its placeYou say you feel this too, so whatever we go throughHand in hand, we can stand and face it allYou're my heart and I'm your man, we'll face it all
To say our life will all be smiles would be untrueWe've had our share of heartache and pain but our love has brought us throughSo let's say on this day, together we will stayIf life is good and gold or if tears fall down our faceHand in hand, we can stand and face it allYou're my heart and I'm your man girl, we'll face it all
We'll trust the Lord and He will be our guide and we can face it allWe can face it allSide by side, you and I will face it allWe'll face it allJust keep your hand in mine girlAnd we'll make it through whatever, comes our wayWe'll take it day by dayTogether you and I, together side by side, we'll face it all, we'll face everything that comes our way
As long as we're together, I know that we can l make it'Cause I love you, I know you love me tooWe can win, we can win, we can win girl, we can win girl and face it all, we'll face it allNo weapon formed against us can ever separate usIf we believe and we should be, side by side, side by side, we can make it girl, ohh we'll face it all
Ohh, we'll face it allWith every tear we cry, we'll hold each other tightWe'll trust the Lord, we'll trust Him to bring us throughTogether you and I, hand in hand, side by side, we'll face it all


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My First Mother's Day / Red Table Talks

I've been feeling particularly jubilant about my very first Mother's Day. The mere fact that I made it to this place identifies that it has indeed been a destination of sorts for me. I always knew in my spirit that I was destined to become a mom, but when life happens, you are never quite sure if the dream will inevitably become a dream deferred.

The birth of my first child, my son Cooper, has made me more available. It has made my life purposeful because the intent with every action is motivated by a deep, unconditional love. What I can say is I've become very warm and fuzzy. The mere thought of him makes me smile - but to be clear, I know this is a journey. There will be peaks and valleys, highs and lows (reference previous blog "Letter To My Unborn Son"), but I am indeed preparing to embrace it all. 

With that, I came across a particularly moving piece for the woman, wife, mother, professional I am which highlighted all that we are - all that we are not - and all that we will be because of the love we have for our children, entitled Red Table Talk. 

Red Table Talk is an inter-generational dialogue between Jada Pinkett-Smith, her mother Adrienne Banfield-Jones and daughter Willow. Steeped in the same tradition of what the barbershop represents for men, Jada established this setting at the table as it represents the place where women have "raw conversation about anything you want".  Conversely the color red represents "deep feeling and passion".

Here, dialogue is key to building bridges, or as Jada expresses it, "communication is the best way to create strong relationships of all kinds." As such, this becomes apparent down to the transparent glass bowl upon which they draw questions to ask of each other. What struck me the most about this 3-part webisode series was it's sheer honesty about their individual and collective relationships. There was no judgement, just truth.  And in expressing their truths, there was healing and love at the core foundation.

Cinematography - CHECK!  Producers Nuyorktricity did it with the look and feel.  Warm yet dynamic.  Simple, yet still fluid. A requiem in 3 parts, Red Table Talk Parts 1 -3, gently weaves a narrative through call and response, paying very close attention to the art of listening. Masterfully, I walk away learning a little more about how Adrienne, Jada and Willow feel because of the presentation of their individual perspectives and how they each reflect upon the other. 

For real, this is the conversation I wish Estelle and Gloria were here for me to connect with.  If the woman I am now were able to actually converse with my Grandma and Mom about life at this level - I can only imagine.  What's happening right here is a necessary conversation to pass wisdom, growth and knowledge down.  It's what we women need from one another.  That's what we don't get enough of in the day to day of our every day lives.  It's what we need to hear and receive in order to heal and raise our children.  Shoot, it's what we need to heal ourselves.  I say yes!

As I see it, there are definitely moments that will tug at your essence:

Part 1 - Good Mother versus Bad Mother (Adrienne)

Key take away: The lens through which you perceive the world can ultimately determine how you receive the world.

Fav Quote: "You were intuitive enough to know who I was."

Part 2 - Wife and Mother (Jada)

Key take away: Being a wife and mother is a paradox that requires skillful balance because I am responsible for my own happiness

Fav Quote: "Communication creates partnership."

Part 3 - The Price of Fame (Willow)

Key take away:  Listen to your child because even they have a story to tell...and want to know your story too

Fav Quote: "You've opened the door and given me the freedom to have this conversation."

Don't take my word for it, get emerged for yourself by clicking Part 1, 2 & 3 above.   If you can sit-thru the :30 seconds of advertiser pre-roll prior to the content I think it will serve you well.  

Personally, I am even more prepared for the next Red Table Talk in my life.  I actually attempt to have them as often as possibly because I identify with the value of effective communication - the only difference is I don't have cameras documenting this for future generations to glean from.  At the end of the day Proverbs 31:10-31, puts it all in perspective for me because I too am continuously peeling apart the layers to gain wisdom, but most of all, express love:

She speaks with wisdom,
    and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
²⁷ She watches over the affairs of her household
    and does not eat the bread of idleness.
²⁸ Her children arise and call her blessed;
    her husband also, and he praises her:
²⁹ “Many women do noble things,
    but you surpass them all.”
³⁰ Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
    but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
³¹ Honor her for all that her hands have done,
    and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.

Cheers To Mommy & ME



When I stumbled upon Intimacy in Garden State Plaza two days before Christmas, I was friendly reminded that "a bra can change your life." As a new mom to a 5 month old boy named Cooper, bringing my sexy back to induct myself into the M.I.L.F Club of America, was a foreign concept. I've contemplated getting that "old thing back," however somewhere between the 3am wake-up calls, an 8-plus hour work day, and the too many Starbucks Cinnamon Dolce Latte's (size grande), I had forgotten about ME.

I knew 2012 was fast approaching and Team Get In Shape was at my front door.  So with a "free bra fit makeovers" sign glaring through the glass window of an empty store, I knew I had to stop for a minute. I was greeted by Lourdes as I looked around at all the pretty wall displays. When I inquired "up to what size do you carry?," I was promptly met with a rousing "N," and I knew this little pit stop was going to take some time.



A quick survey and my expression of dissatisfaction with my current nursing bras turned into me being escorted to a brightly-lit, spacious dressing room. Lourdes spoke to me about the stats and percentages of most women wearing ill-fitting bras as she quickly instructed be to remove my garments.  "This is new," I thought to myself. I'll be right back, I want you to try something on," Lourdes stated as she retreated out the door."


I looked at my ill-fitting nursing bra, even though Cooper was home with his sitter on this particular Friday, and thought to myself, "this must change in 2012.". Once Lourdes re-entered my dressing room, she was armed with a beige bra with extremely huge cups. As I lifted my very full, nursing breasts, I slid my arms into this newness. As I lifted, Lourdes adjusted and closed me up from the back.

Since giving birth I've been much less prudish about my body. I'm no longer ashamed of and trying to cover or make excuses for my physical imperfections. I have given life to another human being. And I'm okay that it's taken me a while to get back on the horse. I breathed a sigh of comfort and relief as Lordes stated, "yes this is much better."



"Dare I ask what size this is?," and Lourdes matter-of-factly replied "J'" as i gasped. The Panache bra actually was "HH" and it was explained to me that different manufactures reflect the cup size differently. What was irrefutable was that I'm "a natural 36," as Lourdes began to show me the benefits of my new garment through praise.

I wore her compliments like fine adornments of great value. I had not felt the sexiest in the past few months as Cooper's Milk Manufacturer. "you see how it lifts you up," Lourdes explained, "you can really see your shape.". I didn't think I still had a shape, but I'll take it.". Yes I was empowered to embrace that shape that i once had.

Lourdes and I chatted about the most efficient way to maintain your bra shape, because let's face it, I was catching a sale, but on average a bra for a woman with ample bosom will cost upwards of $65 plus dollars- each. And if you are trying to really be sexy, you have to buy a matching panty so you can express your sex appeal. The frilly, avant grade colors and patterns are much harder to find at my size so I better try and match that beige bra with acute bottom.


While I didn't find a nursing bra in my size, I did request a sports bra. Who knew Freya fit the bill...and in a double H. Goodbye Nike XL sports bra...you are good to walk around the house in, but when I start running again, Me, Freya and the twins are going to be fully supported whether I am still nursing or not.


As I headed to check out at the register, I didn't really want to hear the total for 3 bra/panty sets, 2 sports bras (underwire and without) and undergarment cleaner. Suffice to say, I left with the intent of entering the contest to win a $500 Intimacy shopping spree because Mama's M.I.L.F. status is in jeopardy. And now with my purchase, Mama's M.I.L.F. status may actually be a possibility from the inside out. Here's to ME and all that is to come.