Fresh ta Def

So when my Dominican "stylist" told me, "mami, you need layers, the ends are dead," I was quite hesitant for her to whip out the scissors and begin snipping. For as long as I can remember, I have always desired to have long, flowy locks. For a time in college I sported the wet and wavy look...and that weave was wonderful I might add, but I've always desired to have my own hair reach these lengths.

With this new year came new beginnings in a myraid of ways for me...And I saw this pic of MJB that inspired me to just cut it all down and start fresh. Well needless to say that didn't happen. But when "the Dominicans" saw the need for me to get to cuttin, I figured why not. "Mami, you can keep your length, but relax, you have to trust me. It will look much better. You have alotta hair, it will be ok."
It's a little dark, afterall it was taken on Friday night, but when my girls saw me on Saturday afternoon, I was complimented on the totality of the new dew. The fullness, the color, the body and bounciness were on point...And it's not really "that short," but it definitely is short for me! I dig it and it looks healthy...like the me I'm stepping into :)

Meow......

This is a shout out to the feminine feline within me. In looking back over the years I have loved cats. Cat stationary for days since I was a youth that I found stashed away...and God just brings our deepest desires full circle.

These two four legged, furry felines above bring me so much joy. My oldest, Jello, is the big boy (12 lbs) in the back and he's 13. While my baby girl Nina (8 lbs) will be 4 years old in August. My vet has them both on a diet because they like to eat. They get it from their momma...so therefore this house is one where we watch our intake :)

Both my babies were given to me. Jello about 8 years ago and Nina at 6 weeks. Although they come from two different litters, these two are brother and sister indeed, and we are a family. It was just Jello and I for a while until my Fuzzy said that I needed to share. All this on his birthday. So Nina entered our life.

My kids represent very distinct aspects of my personality. Jello is my laid back, cool out, mello side. Jello is straight sleep and eat! Nina on the other hand represents the spaz, never quite comfortable, sometimes bold, sometimes fearful side within me. I used to laugh at pet owners who doted over their animals. That is until I had one of my own.

Jello and Nina have taught me a lot about unconditional love. I never thought I would spend three grand on emergency surgery for my pet when I myself didnt even have health insurance....But I did. I never saw a cat in heat either, but two B's in one house does not mesh well. Too much howling in the midnight hour...clearly there can only be one Queen BG, and off to the doctor Nina went.

Anyway, I just thought I would spread love about my loves! Meow.....

Cocktails & Conversation

Every few months me, Big C & CeeGee get together. These are my sistas in training. In 2006 we embarked on a 6 week ritual at 6am, three times per week called True Control Fitness in Harlem. All in all, we were in Boot Camp and our troop name was Pump It Up. Drills, drill sergeants, sir/ma'am, the whole nine. We endured and continued our teamwork mentality through out that summer.


Winter 06 was cold and then I got injured. My two Harlemites kept it moving off and on while I was rebuilding. Now it's two years later and I think we look pretty damn fly! We each have our own regimen now, but when we get together and chop it up, we still still laugh and talk about the same stuff we did on the track...Only these days its over a good bottle of wine :) Fabulousity indeed!

Friendship

Friend (n): 1 a: one attached to another by affection or esteem b: acquaintance (acquaint: to make familiar : cause to know firsthand) 2 a: one that is not hostile b: one that is of the same nation, party, or group

As Merriam Webster defines the word above, I've been on an introspective journey to search the perimeters of my own definition as it applies to me and mine. Wondering if the saying people are in your life for a reason, season or lifetime is and should be applicable when it comes to your "friends."

Seems easy enough to make 'em...seems quite complex to keep 'em in some cases. Not everyone is equip with the goodies when the relationship gets tested...and they always do. Or perhaps we each come to the table with our own definition and therefore expectations, of how our friends should hold us down through the good, bad and the ugly.

I'm kinda starting to see people as they really are and not as I'd like them to be. That's been eye opening. Not projecting my expectations on folk and accepting exactly what they put forth has awakened me not only about them, but about me. I've learned that I am still learning...and that's ok. Growing pains are just that...but in the words of my all time fav group N.E., can you stand the rain?!

The characteristics of friendship as I see it and express it: communication, reciprocity, loyalty (although I do think the word itself is overdone and is really an extentsion of committment), acceptance, honesty, trust, authenticity and unconditional love (as truely defined in 1 Corinthians 13). My BFF's are the ride or die type of folk that not only give that to moi, but challenge me as well. We do that for each other. There is no checklist...Not sure if there ever has been because we just flow. I've desired that ease with all peeps I let in but that hasn't always been the case. I am slowly learning to accept that not everyone is equally as committed to me as I may be to them. Ain't that nothin! But I am also learning that the word "friend" is a loose term, and I am careful how I use it now.

The degree to which you let someone into your space - mental, emotional, physical, spiritual - is one that takes work. ALL relationships take work, and if you are the type of person who isn't committed to the process of investing your time, energy or resources guess what, it WON'T work. Duh! Seems simple enough. Yet I've wondered why I appear to be the one who is surprised when it isn't working?!

These past few months of my life have introduced me back to myself and reconnected me to the true qualities I really love about myself. And what I realized is that the qualities I love about myself, I bring that out of others. I'm treading so lightly these days in everything and with everyone because I got burned. My mom always said, "what you don't hear, you're going to feel." And am I ever feelin it! But I recover beautifully. I always have. I'm a survivor. I may be down, but NEVER count the kid out. Always been a thinker...some have dared to say I over-think, but I'm not hearing that. Empathy goes a long way when you are looking at someone else..it gives you a glimpse into the mirror if you open your eyes.

What about YOUR friends?! How do you roll?