THIS DAY, ever since I was a little girl. My mom always talked to me about planning my wedding. The mystique of growing up like a princess is a long way away from actually finding your prince and living happily ever after. Suffice to say, I no longer have to wonder about a dream deferred. The day is here. The prince is actually a King. And the happily ever after is a work in progress that I accept with open arms.
While I was dreaming about the day in my youth- what it would be like, how I would look, how the room would be decorated- I never quite got past the day itself. I mean beyond the thousands of dollars you "invest" in your marriage ceremony and celebration, the reality is, the real investment comes after the day itself.
Been thinking about this long and hard for the past year and nine days since RK asked me to be his wife. Pastor even said engagement is not about planning a wedding. Engagement is to engage the mind, spirit and character of the individual you are looking to committ to. My engagement stretched both me and my partner. Our engagement almost felt at times like - "are we sure we need to be getting married...now...to each other?" The trepidation I experienced pushed me to the edge of my seat and stretched me beyond my comfort zone. We learned a lot about transparency, consistency, compromise and communication. We learned even more about structure and peace. And through the entire process there was God and there was love.
Never have I felt so strongly about being called toward another person. Never have I fought myself (RK calls those Holy Wars In The Mental) to stand strong, like the survivor I am, and fight for love. Fight for what I believe and learn to live with not getting my own way all the time. YUK! I can be a brat when I want to be. But my man gets it. He gets me, I get him and today we get to get each other.
For the past two months I have gone thru pain-staking details to make THIS DAY uniquely special for us. As orphans, you don't necessarily think about your everyday life with someone else, particularly when you are as strong willed and determined as we are. We've each gone through life in subconscious survival mode. Career, family/friends and maybe a personal life. On THIS DAY, I make a vow to a man who has shown me unconditional love and support. I commit to being his accountability partner. I decide that success is nothing unless you have someone you love to share it with. I desire to continue to grow as a woman, now a wife and one day a mother. I pray that we continue to seek God for His wisdom, understanding and guidance. And I believe that this is only the beginning.
I have no idea what emotions I will feel within the next 24 hours, but I am confident that I will be present to receive them all. THIS DAY was a dream that has become my reality and on THIS DAY I make a vow to myself to always keep dreaming. I DO.