"Man Up"

Guns blazing, your masculinity feminizes me.
The depth of your voice
Reflects the enormity of your character.
You stand tall
Posture errect
As if all of the sun, moon and stars created this effect.
You found me
Somewhere between his broken promises
And your eyes
It was there that we witnessed vulnerability.

Implicitly stated you are
Son
Brother
Teacher
Educator
Father
Husband
Friend
Not necessarily in that order.
I am Daughter
You spit protection like comfort food
And I am well fed.
By your actions I am nourished,
With the mere thought of your ambition
My submission
Comes to fruition
Giving life force to the spirit that resides within you.

I see the depth of your heart
Scarred and marred by pain.
Life and death have
Managed
To
Damage
You
Yet not completely.
Your instinctual
Inhibitions to freely fly
Leave me speechless because my wings
Have not yet recovered
From the smothering
Of their covering in the spring.

I see you soaring
High above rooftops
Mountain peaks
Clouds above
Yet I feel numb.

As a dove
I've been in awe of your flaws.
Because your quiet acceptance leads me to accept you as you are
Which is far from perfect.
Just like me.
You confidently speak your peace
Keep it a lil street
As you consistently reach
For all that is within your grasp.
How can you have such an ability to make it last?
Prolonge the inevitable
That savoy edible
Connectedness that allows you to release.

You opened your arms like gateways to your heart
That was the start.
When I saw a glimmer of what you had to share.
I stared
Long and hard
Cause my P-O-V had me witness this same facade
Like a bodyguard
On someone elses frame.
The game
Was real good
Cause I was the only one who misunderstood.
That love language
Left me damaged.

But that was then
And this is now.
And damnit there's no way
And there's no how
When it comes to acknowledging your worth
That I'll let too much time pass
Before I decide
To finally
Man Up!

-July 29, 2008

I wrote this and only shared it with a fella I just started to date and contemplated taking it to the next level with. 

He eventually became my boyfriend, then my fiance, next my husband and is now the father of my first child.  It's been a blessed 3 years...and counting :)