A Whole New World

It's been 9 LONG months since I logged in and dedicated myself to expressing what is in the four courners of my mind. I never even completed my ten day journey down under with the Aussie's. Please don't charge it to my heart...What an amazing journey it has been since then.

I'd be remiss if I didn't connect to the highlights: getting engaged and producing my first television show Still Rollin: The 2009 Detroit Auto Show...to the not so fresh moments: losing my aunt to cancer and my mother's 90 something year old godmother to a disease I don't even know the name of. Through it all I've been incredibly blessed.

There have been some definite transitions since I last wrote. Clear transitions in time. Transition of relationships - space - emotions...just overall life transition. Change is consistant and everything happens for a reason. God has been my constant source and I am uber thankful for His peace because there have been so many instances where I desired to pause for the cause. But I K-I-M because that's what Big Girls do.

Welcome back to the BG Unlimited blog...stronger - fearless and faithful....Let's go!

The Aussie Chronicles - Day 3 & 4

Saturday, October 25th & Sunday, October 26th

Day 3 I was treated to a massage by my Fav Camp Counselors at the Australian Institute of Holistic Medicine. As a Guest Service Associate at Exhale Spa in the states, and an avid spa lover, I was mentally preparing for bliss. Let's just say this was a little different. Helene was nice, and she tried to get firm in the tight areas across my shoulders, but it wasn't the traditional deep tissue. She tried. The set up wasn't conducive to relaxation being that all guests shared partitioned space in the same room. It was pretty cold too. But the intention was pure and I appreciated the 60 minutes in my own head.

We did a little running around in preparation for the house party Tony & Maurise were hosting on Saturday night. We went to Liquorland pick up drinks and Nando's for lunch. The Portuguese-style flame grilled chicken put Boston Market to shame...and I love my BMarket to pieces. It wasn't too long before I was ready for a nap. The jet lag was still kicking in. By 6p Australian time I'm usually ready for a nap.

Tony gave me a wake up call after a few guests arrived. I was still getting adjusted when the warmness of the awakening American was met with warm smiles and greetings. Tony & Maurise were definitely the "Hosts with the Most." The wine was flowing, the finger foods were being prepared and the conversation was abundant. I met the Dunn's and the Hill's, the Diva and the DJ and Dee from Detroit. There were couples, families with children and singles abundant in the duplex apartment on Lentona Road overlooking the Swan River.

We chatted about everything from urban culture and music to politics and God. It was such a healthy conversation all around. I was especially intrigued with the amount of folk that originated from the states and migrated to Australia...The brothas definitely spoke about the quality of life being different than their American hometowns. Family definitely seemed to be the priority out here and I am all about that. It was interesting to go to house party where the single couple hosted other couples and their kids. It was pretty cool.

We were all saddened to hear about the JHud family tragedy. Definitely a tragic turn of events that begs us all to value every day that we have life. My prayers are with her during this trying time. The mood was lightened when I was surprised with a birthday celebration of cupcakes and the traditional "hip hop hooray" after the birthday song. The cupcakes were courtesy of Maurise's sister Melanie and her man Tom. Damn, NY-Atlanta-Australia birthday celebrations, I am such a blessed girl :) The evening ended well into the wee hours but we had a nice little road trip planned for the early morning...

Day 4 was all about the road trip down south to Margaret River for the wineries. All the times I've visited Cali, I've never been to the wine country, so I was excited about this little trip on the vine. Can't really say I'm a connoisseur either, but I know I like sweet whites, German Riesling is usually my thing...(I lovingly thought about my Boo's affectionate nickname for my sweet tooth while sipping).

Maurise was the driver and Tone was the videographer...and I played my big role as passenger :) The crew hit six wineries and one chocolate factory before 5pm. Here's the list: Woody Nook, Evans & Tate , Laurance, Brookland Valley, Margaret River Chocolate Company, Hay Shed Hill, and Willespie. Evans & Tate caught me with the 2008 Pink Moscato, while Hay Shed Hill caught Tony with the 2008 Late Harvest.

We ate at Laurance which was such a breathtaking site. The Mediterranean Chicken Salad and the Italian Cheese platter was a nice balance to the various wines that whet our palettes throughout the day. We sipped, laughed and took tons of pics.

After all the traveling and wine, by evening we were beat. It was off to Dunsborough a few miles away to retire for the night. The Wyndham Vacation Resort & Spa Asia Pacific was our rest spot for the night. The two bedroom suite complete with a kitchen and washer and dryer was just enough for our restful evening. Tony even got busy in the kitchen cooling chicken, pasta and alfredo sauce with brocolli. Talk about "i-tus."

My room with the balcony view didn't see the light until after I got dressed in the AM. The property was pretty sexy and ultra relaxing. We did a quick stroll before we were on the road again to "The Caves" and Busselton as we headed back north. Even the black lizard we encountered by the pool didnt bother us much. A little scary, but we kept it moving.

The Aussie Chronicles - Day 2

Cont'd...

The 1230p "Doing Time Tour" at Fremantle Prison was pretty cool. Can't say that I have ever been to jail before, but our guide Brenden sure did make it interesting. Tony and I, the two man American crew, were joined by an international crew from Holland, Wales and the UK.

The joint was built by prisoners in the 1850's before "the convict establishment" was shut down in 1991. While it was being built, prisoners were housed in what is now a 5-Star hotel called the Esplanade Hotel. Prison is big business and once they figured this joint needed an upgrade, it was easier to relocate the homies rather than to put more dough into the upgrade. Now you can find the inmates in a spotty 30km down the road...I forgot the name :( We learned all kind of facts as we toured everything from the cells, to the yards, to the chapel in that hour and a half. We even caught the good look in the execution room. There were 44 executions that happened in Fremantle's 150 year existance, and all by hanging. It made me think of my fav 80's rap group The Fat Boys, "in jail without the bail."

Next it was off to the Fremantle Markets and Cappuccino Row. Shops galore. I enjoyed some chips with Tony as we did the walk around up and down South Tce. We strolled through the University of Notre Dame as as we headed to the Round House, the first established colony in Perth. We flicked it up at this beautiful overlook over the ports and the Indian Ocean.

Then we moved on to South Beach...which makes Miami look like a sand box. The clear blue water. The wind and sand blowing. The calmness of my surroundings. Just a quiet piece of heaven on earth.

God is so amazing. To think I am halfway around the world looking at all the wonderful works of nature. I'm in a different time zone, different culture and appreciating all that life has to offer. Life and time are so precious...to be savored, enjoyed and lived to the fullest. I often thought of this trip as just another stamp in my passport, not coming to the fullness of the beauty I was about to experience...let alone the jouney I am embarking upon. It's pretty fresh, and absolutely not taken for granted...Stay tuned!

The Aussie Chronicles - Days 1 & 2

Friday, October 24

After 24 hours in the air, who is really aware of time? I was dreaming when I wrote this - forgive me if I go astray! It's 809am on Friday in Perth (809pm in NY where I originated from). I've managed to finally sit down to write about my journey, but no pictures to post quite yet.

When I landed yesterday afternoon, my fabulous host Tony the Tiger met me at baggage claim with hugs and a video camera. After a swift ride back to his crib, I was enamoured with the hospitality. My own room, with my very own queen crown on the bed, complete with a Welcome Note from Tony, his GF Maurise and their dog Bear. Awwww! I needed a shower - quick...and then we were off to meet Maurise.



***Disclaimer: My nickname for Tony and Maurise - "my favorite camp counselors!" Although Maurise is from Perth, with her 6 years in LA, and with she and Tony's recent move here, I didn't anticipate doing too much. They moved into their new digs a few weeks ago and Tony has only been in Perth 5 months. Needless to say, my itinerary for 10 days was planned, with 4 days where I choose my own activities that they outlined for me.***

Kings Park & Botantical Garden was a beautiful site. The sprawling greenery coupled with Maurise's excitement made me forget all about my jetlag. Within the Park we visited the State War Memorial, The Whispering Wall and the Court of Contempation. All beautiful sites, but The Wall was the most fun. Sitting on opposite ends of the wall, Maurise whispered into the concrete and I could actually hear what she was saying. Hence the name :)



It was off to a steak dinner on Hay Street in downtown Perth at a spot called Armada. Not really a beer drinker, and I didn't see any Reisling or Patron at the bar, so I opted for a ginger ale. A yummy meal as we each ate steak, shared chips (french fries), chatted and caught up on life and goals. Although food is normally this Big Girl's fuel, I was fading fast. We hopped in the whip to head to the grocery store, which ironically enough could be found at Garden City Mall.

I did the look around noticing the similarities to American shops (Body Shop, Swarovski), but the main difference on this Thursday night was that the mall was open late, until 9p....oooohhh!! Normally the hours are 9a - 6p, however on Thursday's in Perth, everyone takes advantage of the late hours. Soon as we hit the crib, I pin curled my hair and was off to bed...10p Aussie time / 10a NYC time.

As you can see, today (Friday) I'm up early. Clearly its a Facebook, email, my Telephone Love kinda morning. I miss my Boo. Maurise is off to the office and Tony is my official tour guide (along with his navigation system, aka Jane). I know on the docket is Fremantle Prison....oooh jail sounds like fun!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME...

33 Things I've Learned

1. God's love is infinite and unconditional


2. You can't make someone love you...With people, love is a choice and an exercise in free will


3. When someone offers to show you who they truely are, believe them!


4. Getting your heart broken has been equivalent to the pain of experiencing the loss of a life


5. No one will ever replace your parents...and no one should


6. Feelings change...therefore your emotions shouldn't rule your life


7. Everybody needs therapy in one form or another


8. You cannot grow in isolation


9. The deepest wounds can be repaired with time, love, patience and communication


10. Absence makes the heart grow fonder...or more distant


11. The greatest obstacles we often face are the ones we create for ourselves


12. Getting out of your own way requires an honest talk with yourself, reconciling between your heart, your mind and your emotions


13. You CAN change the world one heart at a time


14. Favor aint always fair


15. Faith and obedience are the greatest tools in the shed


16. When you're surrounded by darkness, pray and fast until you see the light


17. I don't have to control everything...when things are beyond MY control, embrace change


18. You dont have to simply love the one you're with, you must love yourself completely FIRST


19. I will be "under construction" and "a work in progress" for the rest of my natural life


20. It's ok to just be...it's ok to just be ME


21. No matter how much weight I lose or gain, my heart still weighs the same


22. Time really does heal!


23. You can't pick your family, but you can choose when you want to deal with them!


24. My best friends are the dopest people I know


25. Laughter is so good for soul


26. Not everyone is capable of looking in the mirror, asking the hard questions and accepting the truths they find about themselves


27. It's a lot easier to let go then to make an investment and do the work!


28. Sometimes it's just less complicated to not say anything at all


29. There's always tomorrow


30. Fear and faith cannot occupy the same space!


31. Maintaning a healthy lifestyle requires dedication, obedience and sacrifice each and every day


32. To simply live life in expectancy!


33. Jesus died so we could live life to the fullest...this IS my year!

"Life"

As the sand in the hourglass falls,
The shifting movement of the clock proceeds forward
Never backward.
Reminicing of the time once believed to last forever,
The ties that bonded severed
That inevitable facination that comes when the last breath is taken.

Blink, Blink
The experiences of the past suddeny become present.
Blink, Blink
I recall my last love.
Blink, Blink
I recall my last fuck.
Blink, Blink
Mistakes become erased.
Blink, Blink
The pain is so vivid, with every frame I capture each moment like snapshots.
Blink, Blink
What seemed to matter most, no longer is relevant

Who knew what was to come of it!
The thought of moving beyond time
Beyond space
Beyond place
Beyond here
Is
Now!
How
Was I able to survive this long?
Make it this far?
All I have is my faith
Yet I hear
Fear
Whispering in my ear.

Hey, it's me death
Knocking at your front dor.
You scared?
Remember the unfulfilled dreams?
The unresolved problems?
The broken promises?
The disappointments?
I struggle to erase the doubts,
The clogging and blocking of everything that was my life.
This IS my life.

I see light.
I am love.
I've done good
I've made friends
I've made an impact
I have made a difference.

Suddenly there is a shift between what really matters
And what really matters most.
I've seen this moment
Prayed to God to give me another chance.
Prayed for Him to reveal
Not steal
What is rightfully mine
What I earned...
To be present.
To be here

Be clear
I am not confused
I will not lose
My life to death.
I will live my life
Until death do us part.

Ye though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death
I fear no evil.
Be still
It's an audacious upheaval
People
People
People
The first shall be last
And the last shall be next.
Thoughts of streaming consciousness
Never rest
Until I do.

Blink, Blink
My lids are getting heavier
Blink, Blink
I surrender
Blink, Blink
My life IS death.

Blink, Blink

Blink, Blink

Blink

Blink!


-Kimberly N. Cooper-
September 21, 2008

Attitude of Gratitude

I've been particularly introspective these past few weeks. When life happens you have no real choice but to deal with it...and so I do. Not too fond of hospitals, and havent been for a while, but there comes a time when you have to put yourself and your own feelings to the side.

Visiting my Aunt Linda and Ms. Olga has been anything but easy. I've made the trips alone and I've been accompanied, each time leaving a little more discouraged about the future prospects. This week I decided to put my faith to work. I got my real talk on with God and I reached out to my prayer warriors and gave them the 411. When I left their respective hospitals today I was so thankful. Thankful that their spirits and energy were upbeat and they looked healthier then they had in weeks. We laughed, we talked and even shed a tear or two. I am so thankful that even in the midst of the storms of life, I know my God is faithful and has a reason for the season. And for all of that I am thankful. Amen!

Be Yourself!

"All my life I had been looking for something, and everywhere I turned someone tried to tell me what it was. I accepted their answers too, though they were often in contradiction and even self-contradictory. I was naïve. I was looking for myself and asking everyone except myself questions which I, and only I, could answer. It took me a long time and much painful boomeranging of my
expectations to achieve a realization everyone else appears to have been born with: that I am nobody but myself."

-Ralph Ellison, "Battle Royal"

You Know You're an OG Female in Hip-Hop...

You Know You're an OG Female in Hip-Hop when......

• The Rock The Bells concert you attend at Jones Beach with your 30 something year old friends on a bright and sunny Sunday afternoon is highlighted with performances from rappers in the 90's
  
  

The "90's" seem like just yesterday instead of almost 20 years ago

Standing on a chair while waving your hands in the air like you just don't care, you suddenly realize you could fall...

Your favorite artists remember flirting with you as a young, fly, teenage honey dip

• Your favorite artists look at you now as a sexy grown woman who hasn't changed...and they still like to flirt

Your artist crushes are still the same and you get all excited when you see them becuase you still have a crush

You look at your artist crushes and ask them about their family (wives, wifeys, kids, momma and the rest) and they smile with love

You remember exactly WHERE you were, WHAT you were doing and WHO you were doing it with when you hear classic songs like "Incarcerated Scarfaces," "Da Rockwilder," "Me, Myself and I" and "Scenario (remix)"

• The smell of the oooh wee wafting in the air doesnt give you a contact high anymore

• Being a VIP means complimentary food and beverages...and that's the way you like it because you're grown accustomed to it

Press pass or not, you always do the "walk around" and see who you need to see

• You know all the words when the "special guests" spit their 16 bars and/or chorus to their hits

• You're updating the "status" on your Facebook page from your Blackberry Curve every few hours with varying levels of excitement and mobile photo uploads...and you realize your really not in the 90's anymore

Going to a hip hop concert no longer requires the standard hip-hop sneaker footwear and apparel...a platform, espadril, open toe wrap up shoe/sandal is quite appropriate...flip flops stay in the bag for the drive home

• Your watch your favorite hip-hop group, A Tribe Called Quest, reunite and perform for the first time in 10 years...and you view the entire set standing on stage left because clearly that's where their #1 fan belongs
  
  
  
  

Great Relationships

I get the GOOD WORD every day, but sometimes it sticks out more than others...REAL TALK!

There is a friend who sticks closer than a brother. Proverbs 18:24 NIV

Building great relationships takes time and energy. And you only discover how valuable such relationships are when they're tested. One author writes: "Contouring your heart to beat with another requires extensive whittling, to trim away self-centeredness. It's like riding the bus; if you're going to have company you must be willing to scoot over to accommodate other people and the baggage they bring. Your actions in doing this express the importance of the other person. One relationship becomes more valuable than others because of its ability to survive and endure realignments."

The qualities we value most in a friend are two-fold:
(1) The assurance that they won't bail out when the road gets rocky.
(2) The knowledge that our imperfections and scars won't change their level of commitment.

Solomon said, "A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend that sticks closer than a brother" (Proverbs 18:24). It's about quality, not quantity. That's why heart connections can be so much stronger than blood connections. Don't be too quick to discount someone's good qualities because they made a mistake, disappointed you or did something without thinking. You wouldn't haul your car to the junkyard because it had a faulty battery or a flat tire!

Love means risk, but the payoffs outweigh the investment. Behind every success story you'll find people who once felt so discouraged they wanted to quit, who fell and needed lifting when someone stepped in, picked them up and helped them to keep going. Life is not built on acquisitions and accomplishments, it's built on relationships. So keep yours in good shape!

Real N**** Do Real Things...

Press Play....

It is absolutley silly and unproductive to have a funeral for the word nigga when the actions continue. We need to have a movement to resurrect brothers and sisters, not a funeral for niggas, cuz niggas dont die! -"Project Roach" f. The Last Poets

Writers on the Block

I can't believe I have not connected to home base for two months. It's not like I haven't had stuff to kick it about - seeing history in the making at my alma mater Wesleyan when Barack Obama spoke at graduation; catching Mint Condition, Usher and Laylah Hathaway live within one week; my 15 year high school reunion; The BET Awards in LA; The Bay Area debut of the break/s featuring Marc Bamuthi Joseph; Cat On A Hot Tin Roof; clocking it with the talk radio show I host on Columbia's WKCR-FM, HipHop4Life Radio; meeting my first celeb crush Malcolm Jamal Warner as an adult and telling him about the first time I met him at age 12- just a gang of stuff has been going on. Keep it real, a chick been busy and blessed.

I made some mental notations and took some written ones in my Blackberry Curve, but I really didn't make the full commitment to my Blog space with the stuff I've been experiencing and of course feeling...Been feeling hella inspired tho cuz I realized my writing is theraputic. To get it super focused, I was working on my latest Essence assignment for the Women in Power issue and had the opp to speak with this major power attorney. Condensing my hour long interview into 400 words was tight to say the least, but what killed it for me was during the interview Mrs. Esq. referenced her own research of me. In my hundreds of interviews never have I heard my interviewee make any reference to the schools I went to or the places I worked, especially having never met them. I was super flattered, gassed, pick the word. Either way, after chopping it up with Mrs. Esq., not only did she drop gems that I will personally keep in the arsenal, but she gave me the blessings with my own big vision.

I am a writer...I have a right to change the world and I WRITE to change the world...

I'm back...

Happy Mother's Day

Mommy

If I took the time to navigate through the process of my life, it is you that first brought me into existence
When I think about the woman that I am, the woman that I’ve become, it was you that helped me channel through all the resistance.
From first steps to first words,
From the first time to the first hurt, I can’t recall a time when you haven’t been there for me.
I was trippin the other day because I flashed back to the moment when I first heard you say you loved me.
I mean, not that hearing those words was anything new, but it was the way I felt more than anything.
I began to see….
The depth of your wisdom
The extent of your knowledge
The wealth of your experience
The complexity within your soul
The way that you express the dynamics of a situation so clearly, I know now that only my best interests were the true goal.
For real mommy, I didn’t mean to cause you too much drama during my teen years, you know how it goes…
Clearly that fight with Jasminee didn’t mean much. I mean we’re still friends after all these years and in the thick of the crunch.
(Laughing) How bout that time you told me you didn’t want me to see Ron. Cuz he was too thugged out, “not the right element,” you said he was how old? Oh no child, that is way too grown.
And oh yes, I remember when you caught me smoking the green stuff in my room with the girls. And coming back from the parties, headed straight to the toilet to hurl.
As I look into the mirror, I see so many parts of you.
My eyes, my skin, my smile-I know that I am beautiful.
I didn’t always feel this confident, walk this tall or hold my head up this high.
There were so many times I was challenged by the images in the mirror, the people around me and made excuses just to get by.
I recognized early, that as the matriarch of our family you had challenges that were uniquely you own.
I remember the times when Pop and you argued, and especially when he didn’t come home.
You always taught me that life was not always fair and do unto others as I would have them do unto me
Creeping up on 30 now, I finally see
Through the politics, the uneasiness that comes when you really get to know yourself
I mean truly exercising and freeing my spirit at the expense of everything else.
Where did all the time go, the years have breezed by so quickly.
From dreaming about my wedding day
To you being the grandma of a little ‘ol me.
Admittedly, you’ve always been my inspiration
Your style - my style, impeccable
You stand like a regal queen
Posture erect
And your walk…
With a grace and poise of confidence, yet a complete sense of mystique.
Your outer beauty always mirrored the inner beauty you possessed
And it’s like you always knew the answer even before the question was asked.
I’ve been feeling like I see so many things clearly now based upon everything that you taught me
You haven’t been here physically for a while but all the knowledge resides within –
My heart – beats with passion for the truth I seek
My soul – reigns with desire for honesty when I meet
Or encounter
My spirit – so innocent, yet so complex
Often it’s been challenging to discern where I fit in the best
It’s like I feel if you were here things would be – would’ve been so different.
Damn, the woman that I am is because of you – and you’re not even here to see it.
See me – see what could be – could’ve been – can be
Sometimes I just get so overwhelmed by the dynamics within me.
Did you ever wonder who you really were or what God’s purpose was for you to be?
I feel as if life kind of stopped for you after you birthed me
Everything you did from that point forward, you had me in mind
When I think about it, it’s unreal how unconditional love really is when you have a child
You gave me life, an amazing example to follow
How truly blessed I am
Finally on the journey to master the art of being comfortable in my own skin
That ride has been long and arduous but it’s going to be well worth it in the end
God’s plan is continuously being revealed
In Him, I’ve found a true friend.
When you look down and see the fruits of your labor
I think I will make you and Daddy proud
I know that I am a reflection of you and all that a woman’s worth has allowed
Thank you mommy for being a superwoman all the years of your life
And for showing me a softer side of vulnerability, not just as my mother, but as a woman and a wife
I take those examples and wear them as medals of strength, honor and courage
With faith based determination you’ve empowered me with the tools to succeed
Lead
Be all that I can be
No one knows you like your mother
I love you mommy – always have – always will
Thanks for always listening.

-Kimberly N. Cooper

circa 2006

Heart of the City

My BFF Marc and I traveled around the country hip-hoppin to catch some of the illest performances in between studying prior to our college graduations. Every summer and during every break thereafter we rocked out in my Dad's Toyota Camry or his Mom's Mazda. We did Badu deep in Jersey. A Tribe Called Quest up and down the east coast. De La Soul, E-40, KRS-ONE, Busta, Red & Meth, Souls of Mischief, arenas, lounges, conventions and everyone/everything else in between.

Post grad, I returned to NYC and he headed west to The Bay. Clearly we always remained connected, but we never had an opp to attend a show together since the late 90's...until Hov & Mary breezed thru NYC this week for their sold out Heart of the City Tour...and no doubt while MJ was in town. Perfect. We kinda knew these were super hot tickets, but we kinda felt like what really made it fly was us reuniting like Peaches & Herb to rock out in NYC again.

So there we were at The Garden in our perfect Row A seats angled stage left, 2 sections up from the floor thanks to my always on point/on time friend/mentor BJ. Not too close, not too far, all in the mix. After the video interview of MJB and Jay rolled, they hit the stage together for "Can't Knock The Hustle." Dope intro. I didn't think they would one-two punch it but it worked for me.

We're diggin the super live instrumentation as MJB takes us all through the What's the 411 and My Life album hits back to back. Jay circles back to perform Biggie's part on the "Real Love" remix...We're amped. MJ and I are singing and dancing as the "All I Need" beat drops. "Meth really needs to be in the building for this," I say to MJ...Then Meth rolls out looking fresh like a million bucks. He has cleaned up so well since those 36 Chambers days, but I digress.

Mary mellows out and slides us through the mid to slow tempo joints...We feelin' it...and so are the thousands of other heads in the space...Mad call and response for all the records, not to mention the smell of libations wafting through the air. Me and MJ get our smiles and giggles on straight through the set singing right along with everyone favorite Queen of HipHop Soul. Mary drops a few gems for the ladies as she narrates from "Love No Limit" into "Feel Like A Woman."

"You should never feel like a golddigger when you're making a deposit into
somebody elses life. I want you to take that. Take
that!"

Okay Mary! True that on the woman's empowerment tip! We're way feelin it now...rememering the days these records dropped and where we were in our lives. What a special time kinda feeling like we grew up with Mary. MJ and I grew up together and apart on MJB. We always played the foreground and the background of our experiences with her music looming throughout in different ways.

By the time Hov takes the stage we're amped. You already know Jay's swagger is as laid back as his rhymes, but I damn near forgot about all the slick, hit records he has under his belt. A snafu in the plan lead to MJ's early departure from the show so I braved Jay dolo...although I'm never truely alone, ya dig! I completely rapped and rocked Hov straight through.

By the time he dropped that "Crazy in Love" beat and B appeared stage left I already knew it was about to go down. Sasha appeared in all her sexy, stilleto boots glory and sashayed across the stage in her all black ensemble complete with fitted blouse, shorty shorts and riding gloves. When she dropped it like it was hot to the beat center stage and then sashayed to Jay's side holding the Roc sign in the air, I was ready for a performance. Then she stepped hard off the stage not saying a word. I was done....From the "money over broads...F* Bush" visual reference a la "American Gangster," to the segue of a larger than life hard Obama visual, I enjoyed Jay's set...but I was ready for the exclusive after jumpoff that we had access to.

Met MJ at the corner of 25th and 6th and proceeded to the red carpet stylee at 40/40. Our heart/city charm braclet held the keys to the ignition. Clearly we were in the right place. It's always VIP when we roll. Remaining relatively below the radar all season, I was comin' out like Diana Ross this night. So as we waxed poetics and flicks over Bailey's/Ameretto mix for me and Vodka/Tonics for him, and we moved the crowd...Cuz DJ Cassidy had the crowd moving.

Let's keep it real, we're NYC private school kids. I went to Fieldston, Marc went to Dalton and Cassidy rocked at Riverdale Country...And both MJ and I did the higher learning thing at the college/university level. So as we both navigated through the crowd we found ourselves reconnecting with 'ol school homies and homettes throughout the night. Peep MJ's words on that!

I was super happy to be in the spotty with my BFF after a long hiatus of distance but it was also a good look to reconnect with industry peeps I haven't seen in a minute. FA-BO-LO-US always has love for BG. And BG always has love for Fab. Still waiting for him to drop that next album and take us back to the "Holla Back Young'n" Fab I came to love...but I know he can still "Make Me Better" once he gets the hot tracks.

I was all pink when my longtime crush stepped up to me to give me a big bear hug, smile and kiss....Like LONG TIME crush. Like, longtime crush that doesn't know he's my crush cuz we're so "cool." Like, longtime crush that had me cheezin' upon site...Ho hum....I resign myself to getting bold and doing the big reveal at some point, but that's so not me...So I just pointed him out to MJ for the umteenth time and continued to swirl around the establishment being Chatty Patty with the peoples. My coach was quietly turning into a pumpkin in the 1am hour...Shawty can't do it like she used to. Beside the fact we were about to do it all again the next day on yet another VIP boatride around the city courtesy of MJ's lil sister Joelle and Dr. Miracles. What a fabulous life full of love and happiness that I live. :)

No Justice, No Peace

When the "not guilty" verdict came down on Friday April 25th in the Sean Bell case, I was shocked but not really. Aquitted on all charges, I knew my black people would be tight about it, and rightfully so. I myself was saddened because yet another gross miscarriage of justice was served...on a platter.

The front page HED of Saturday's New York Times read Judge Acquits Detectives in 50-Shot Killing of Bell, and the DEK, Fatally Flawed Police Work, but Not Criminal. I didn't follow the nuances of the case on the day to day, but I knew the basics. I immediately called my Uncle Clifford. Both he and Pops were detectives. Pop with the Manhattan District Attorney's office and Uncle Cliffy most recently with the Queens D.A. I felt compelled to figure out why there is such a disparity between the men and women that are called to protect and serve and the black community. Beyond that, the 50 shots that were blasted off from the cops gun that killed Bell, left nothing to the imagination as far as "guilt" was concerned.

My Uncle said that Judge Cooperman was going to rule on the law and not emotion. So when I read part of Cooperman's decision in The NYT, "the officers responded to perceived criminal conduct; the unfortunate consequences of their conduct were tragic...Questions of carelessness and incompetence must be left to other forums..." Uncle Cliff was right, there was no emotion in the statement. Rather than calling the shooting justified, the judge said that the prosecution failed to prove it was unjustified, which was its burden. Ironically enough, the defendants decided against a trial by jury. How that choice was exercised and ultimately executed, I'm not sure... But for 50 shots to get fired, with 31 coming from Detective Michael Oliver, and for no one (Detectives Marc Cooper or Gescard Isnora) to get convicted with anything, seems a lil suspect...to a lot of people.

Clearly there was an outcry. Rightfully so. What I'm trying to understand is how this could happen and seemingly delve into how it positions the police in the eyes of the public. I usually take a somewhat apathetic stance when it comes to the police. With Pop being a cop I tend to find myself falling back into a mindset like "my Pop wouldn't have handled it like that." But talking to Uncle Cliff gave me some perspective. Absolutely there are always going to be some rotten apples in any bunch, but sometimes in those split second moments, cops spazz. They are human too. They put their life on the line everyday, and not that it should be an us against them mentality, but it can go down like that unfortunately.

All that to say...I'm praying for Nicole and her kids in the same way I'm praying for those officers. Their careers are smashed as they knew it, but really I pray that in their hearts they can forgive themselves for what happened. Healing is required on all fronts to move on, and it won't be easy, but it is necessary. I look forward to the day when we fear doesn't completely rule us in our psyche. I look forward to black men not being viewed as suspicious and targets while they do their thing on the day to day. I look forward to the day when justice and peace walk hand in hand...